Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
