But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
