check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I puked a lego.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
