Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
