i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
