having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
