I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
