Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize