just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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