I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
