Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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