Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
