lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Pants are for mortals
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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