Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
