she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
