At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
