I hate all girls vehemently.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Pooping to opera.
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