Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
