Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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