So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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