Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
