Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I supernannyed him into submission
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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