I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
