No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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