I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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