i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
