New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize