I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize