so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize