I'm jealous of your bromance
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
