see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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