i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
