how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
