my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
