C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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