I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
