i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
