Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I touched a dick in church today
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
