all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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