Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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