I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
