thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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