You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
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you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
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The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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