What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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