these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
