I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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