i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
