I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
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Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
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I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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