I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
