ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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