Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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