I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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