in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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