I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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