I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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