it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
