is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize