No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
did i just pee glitter
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
