I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
