Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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