I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
